Calling, A.K.A.: Vocation

     I need to figure out what I'm doing with my life. I'm going to graduate from college in May with a BA in Mathematics and a minor in Theology, having very little in the way of life plans. 'The Plan' at this point is to come home to Eugene, get a job and an apartment, and spend a year or so just living life, then start applying to graduate schools (possibly seminaries? That would certainly be interesting…)

     The fact I have a plan, though, doesn't mean I know what I'm doing with my life. It's weird.

     The question that has been posed to me almost constantly for the last few months by those who know me best is this: "What do you want to do?" and the follow up question: "How are you going to do it?"

     The first question is easy enough. What I want to do is be there for people. It's just the way I am. If I see someone hurting, I want to know what's going on. I want to know how to make them feel better. I want to know how to make them actually be better. I want to be a conduit for God's comfort.

     So, since I am a Christian, since I do believe that the only true comfort comes from God, which leaves one rather obvious answer for the second question: become a pastor.

     The biggest problem I have with this option is that I just don't feel like I'm good enough. Theologically and practically, I can look around and say that nobody is, and I'm as good a candidate as the next guy. Maybe better, since I actually enjoy pastoring. I also don't like preaching, though I suppose I'm capable enough. It is a terrifying experience, far more so than any other style of public speaking, and I don't like being terrified.

     Why is preaching terrifying? Well, for one thing, it's supposed to be. If you don't get nervous while teaching people about the word of God there's something wrong. There's even Biblical support for nervousness in teaching: "Not many of you should presume to be teachers, my brothers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly." (James 3:1) and "but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened around his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea." (Matthew 18:6)

     Then again, as Ernest Hemingway said, "the shortest answer is doing the thing." I'm no Hemmingway (obviously), but I think I have to take his advice here. How will I know if ministry is right for me? Do it. I have the ability to do so, and so I shall.

     Pastoral care is what I want to do, and the ministry is my vehicle. Skill at preaching will come, but I pray that comfort never will.

Macaroni and Cheese and Preparation for the Zombie Apocalypse

Well, it has been a while.

Yes, yes, I know, I missed a month there. It happens when I actually enjoy life. I don't have too much to complain about. The internets don't receive my bounteous mental vomit (or catharsis, if you prefer to use that term instead. I think"mental vomit" has a much nicer ring to it though, don't you?)

So it's January in Spokane. Gotta love it. The huge mounds of snow, the bitterly cold temperatures, the random week of sunny, 50 degree weather. Man, if you need to get someone out of a soap-opera slump, let them watch the weather channel for a while. We went from a high of 16 to a high of 52 in two days.

Yes, I'm talking about the weather for lack of a more interesting subject. What's it to you, punk?

I suppose I could talk about my goal of reading through the entire New Testament in one month. I'm starting Revelations today. One book left, but man is it a doozy. Apocalyptic literature can be fun, but it can also be very confusing. And, occasionally, terrifying. Once I get through Revelations, I will have read every book of the Bible since September 2010. Granted, it was not close study or even a careful reading, but I still did it. Will I read all the way through the Bible again? Yes. Will I do it as fast as I did this time? Almost certainly not.

On a completely different note, I made some macaroni and cheese the other day. Cooked up a pound of pasta (dry), then, after draining, added 8 oz shredded extra sharp cheddar, 8 oz brie (for creaminess), 5 oz of crumbled blue, and a bunch of green onions, finely chopped. Topped the whole thing off with fresh breadcrumbs and about 3 oz grated parmesan, then sprinkled a bit of paprika over the top and baked it for about 12 minutes at 350 degrees. It was excellent. Once it cooled down, I could cut slice out of it like a lasagna. Come to think of it, mac-n-cheese with a bit of marinara would probably be pretty good… also bacon.

What else to talk about…

Oh! I discovered a very cool website (if you like bladed weapons): http://zombietools.net/. They have some pretty epic stuff. No Claymore, though, which disappointed me a little. The 4-foot naginata-style was pretty cool, though.

I guess that's about it. time for me to go take the duck off the stove and eat dinner. Ta-tas y'all.